ACA WhatsApp

ACA for inner peace and serenity.

Success in ACA is not measured with money or social status, but with inner peace and serenity. We share our experience, strength and hope with each other as we laugh together, cry together and know that we are home.

ACA WhatsAppGroup (WAG)

ACA – Adult Children of Alcoholics®/ Dysfunctional Families
USES – Unity – Service – Emotional Sobriety
PG – Practice Group

Cross Talk for the ACA USESPG WAG

No cross talk – no comments (even as a private message, email or contact in any other way)- no referring to a post or message, with the only exception when someone feels safe enough and asks in the message or post for help, comments or outreach to call or for a private message, email or contact in any other way.

To keep oneself in peace and serene with ones own Loving Parent and Inner Child .

Referring to
The cross talk safety is much broader it is not only commenting on a post in this group it is also referring to a post.
Referring to a post is considered as commenting too.
In ACA we keep the focus on our lives and our feelings.
We do not make reference to the shares of others except as a transition into our own sharing.
A very general “what’s been brought up for me is…”, but please do not make more detailed references to another person’s share.

What is Commenting on?
In ACA we accept what each person shares as true for them.
We go to great lengths to avoid creating the climate of shame that enforced the three primary rules of a dysfunctional family: don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel. In ACA, we simply do not make a comment here in this group, even as a private message, email or contact in any other way, either positive or negative about another person’s share from this group. In like manner, we never speak about the contents of another person’s share. Everything that is shared in this group is considered privileged and confidential and must be treated with the utmost of respect.
Unsolicited advise can be a form of commentary and should be avoided but also instructions, recommendations and solicited advice, even if someone asks for comments should be avoided at all times. (Which can also be seen as fixing)

Fixing others: Learn to listen
“In ACA, we do not attempt to comfort others when they become emotional here in this group. If someone writes emotional here, we allow the person to feel his or her feelings without interruption. To comfort the person is known as “fixing”. As children we tried to fix our parents or to control them with out behavior. In ACA, we are learning to take care of ourselves. We support others by accepting them into this group and listening to them. We allow them to feel their feelings in peace.”

BRB p576 “We want to balance keeping our groups safe from cross talk with our own responsibility to educate new members about group decorum. In most cases a gentle reminder works.”

No cross talk – no comments (even as a private message, email or contact in any other way)- no referring to a post or message, with the only exception when someone feels safe enough and asks in the message or post for help, comments or outreach to call or for a private message, email or contact in any other way.


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We have two ACA WhatsApp groups (WAG’s)

European ACA Outreach

Whatsapp group (WAG). This is a closed group for ACA’s. The purpose of this group is just outreach calls. No chats, questions or posts, there are other groups for that.

Click here if you would like to join the ACA European ACA Outreach group.

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Whatsapp ACA NL Info Channel

ACA news & information channel

A news and info bulletin and FAQ channel for all things ACA. Please forward any ACA events, resources, etc. to an admin who will post it to the group.
Please see our website for our Zoom Online Meetings list in CET (Central European Time is GMT/UTC +1hour) https://acanetherlands.com

Link to this Whatsapp Group:
https://chat.whatsapp.com/GhKHRkXCddMFubZtNxEgHe



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All ACA groups or meetings that would like to join ACA Nederlands – ACA Intergroup IG#711 are welcome.

Courage to change
to your
“True Self”

ACA Nederlands – ACA Intergroup IG#711
ACA Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families

ACANL @ protonmail .com

Helps Finding Your
“True Self”
7th Tradition or Donation- PayPal

This group is self supporting and relies fully on voluntary contributions from all of us to pay all the expenses. This group does the 7th tradition or donations by making a donation into the Intergroup’s bank account. The funds are used to pay the zoom account​, the website​, get other online tools, organize events, workshops, study groups, parent other meetings and other costs. Contributions may be made by PayPal, by sending it from a Paypal account to our Paypal account on

aca.netherlands.global ​​@ gmail .com
Thank you


USING “I” STATEMENTS

“Why Using “I” Statements is So Important!”.
When sharing with an individual or as part of a group, using “I” statements can make a big difference. An “I” statement is sharing in the first person, as opposed to using words such as “we,” “they,” “us,” and “you.” At first, it may seem like an insignificant detail, but using third person statements is distancing and impersonal.

It can even be an attempt to subconsciously control others or place responsibility outside of oneself. Example: “When you get abused, it hurts you.” Change this to: “When I got abused, it hurt me.” Sharing in the first person promotes self responsibility by divulging information only about yourself. When you are tempted to use the generic “you,” “we,” etc., try to catch yourself and replace i with “I.”

You will be surprised how different it feels and how much more you and others get out of your share. It may feel uncomfortable at first. That’s because you are casting off your protective shield and revealing the real you. Remember:
1) An “I” statement exercises my self control.
2) “I” statements build my self respect while
offering others a true opportunity to have a real relationship with me.
3) Struggling with “I” statements will often reveal the hidden aspects of the issues at hand. If you truly want to disclose your feelings so that you and others can learn more about YOU, use an “I” statement!

https://acawso.org/2018/03/04/using-i-statements

The help for your
“True Self”

The Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

This document is in development and will be subject to review by ACA WSO Board of Trustees and approval by the fellowship.
We welcome all comments from the fellowship to assist in the final review of this piece of literature. Please submit any feedback between now and the end of December 2020.
You can share your feedback by sending an e-mail to liteval@acawso.org
Lists the Rights of an adult child of an alcoholic and/or a dysfunctional family.

The ACA Bill of Rights
1) I have the right to say no.
2) I have the right to say, “I don’t know.”
3) I have the right to detach from anyone in whose company I feel humiliated or manipulated.
4) I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
5) I have the right to be wrong.
6) I have the right to make mistakes and learn from them.
7) I have the right to make my own choices and decisions in my life.
8) I have the right to grieve any actual or perceived losses.
9) I have the right to all of my feelings.
10) I have the right to feel angry, including towards someone I love.
11) I have the right to change my mind at any time.
12) I have the right to a spiritually, physically, and emotionally healthier existence, though it may deviate entirely or in part from my parents’ way of life.
13) I have the right to forgive myself and to choose how and when I forgive others.
14) I have the right to take healthy risks and to experiment with new possibilities.
15) I have the right to be honest in my relationships and to seek the same from others.
16) I have the right to ask for what I want.
17) I have the right to determine and honor my own priorities and goals, and to leave others to do the same.
18) I have the right to dream and to have hope.
19) I have the right to be my True Self.
20) I have the right to know and nurture my Inner Child.
21) I have the right to laugh, to play, to have fun, and the freedom to celebrate this life, right here, right now.
22) I have the right to live life happy, joyous, and free.

What Does ACA Recovery Look Like?

By working the Twelve Steps of ACA and by attending meetings regularly, we begin to realize that ACA recovery involves emotional sobriety*. That is what ACA recovery looks like. But what is emotional sobriety?
To understand emotional sobriety, we must first understand emotional intoxication, which is also known as para-alcoholism. Para-alcoholism represents the mannerisms and behaviors we developed by living with an alcoholic or dysfunctional parent. As children, we took on the fear and denial of the alcoholic or nondrinking parent without taking a drink.
Emotional intoxication can be characterized by obsession and unhealthy dependence. There also can be compulsion. Even without drugs and alcohol, we can be “drunk” on fear, excitement or pain. We can also be drunk on arguing, gossip, or self-imposed isolation.
In essence the Laundry List, the 14 traits of an adult child, offers a textbook example of the behaviors and attitudes that characterize an emotionally intoxicated person. We fear authority figures and judge ourselves harshly while being terrified of abandonment. Without help, we seek out others to reenact our family dynamics. We can recreate our family dysfunction at home and on the job indefinitely until we find ACA. This means that our adult relationships resemble the template relationship we developed as children to survive an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home. We find others to create chaos, conflict, or unsafe relationships.
Emotional sobriety involves a changed relationship with self and others. We measure emotional sobriety by the level of honesty, mutual respect, and the acceptability of feelings in our relationships. If our relationships are still manipulative and controlling, we are not emotionally sober no matter what we tell ourselves about our recovery program. Emotional sobriety means that we are involved in changed relationships that are safe and honest. We feel a nearness to our Higher Power. We cultivate emotional sobriety through the Twelve Steps and through association with other recovering adult children.

“Emotional sobriety was formally introduced to the ACA fellowship through the Identity Papers. The 1986 paper, “Finding Wholeness Through Separation: The Paradox of Independence,” shows the genesis of emotional sobriety. The possibility of emotional sobriety is created through the broadening and deepening of the Steps and Traditions.

All ACA groups or meetings that would like to join ACA Nederlands – ACA Intergroup IG#711 for help and support more than are welcome.
We also would like to start to communicate with other Intergroups to work together and look for possibilities to form a Region for a better growth and unification of ACA in the world.

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Courage to change
to your
“True Self”

ACA Nederlands – ACA Intergroup IG#711
ACA Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families

ACANL @ protonmail .com