WAG

ACA USESPG WhatsAppGroup (WAG)

ACA – Adult Children of Alcoholics®/ Dysfunctional Families
USES – Unity – Service – Emotional Sobriety
PG – Practice Group

Cross Talk for the ACA USESPG WAG

No cross talk – no comments (even as a private message, email or contact in any other way)- no referring to a post or message, with the only exception when someone feels safe enough and asks in the message or post for help, comments or outreach to call or for a private message, email or contact in any other way.

To keep oneself in peace and serene with ones own Loving Parent and Inner Child .

Referring to
The cross talk safety is much broader it is not only commenting on a post in this group it is also referring to a post.
Referring to a post is considered as commenting too.
In ACA we keep the focus on our lives and our feelings.
We do not make reference to the shares of others except as a transition into our own sharing.
A very general “what’s been brought up for me is…”, but please do not make more detailed references to another person’s share.

What is Commenting on?
In ACA we accept what each person shares as true for them.
We go to great lengths to avoid creating the climate of shame that enforced the three primary rules of a dysfunctional family: don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel. In ACA, we simply do not make a comment here in this group, even as a private message, email or contact in any other way, either positive or negative about another person’s share from this group. In like manner, we never speak about the contents of another person’s share. Everything that is shared in this group is considered privileged and confidential and must be treated with the utmost of respect.
Unsolicited advise can be a form of commentary and should be avoided but also instructions, recommendations and solicited advice, even if someone asks for comments should be avoided at all times. (Which can also be seen as fixing)

Fixing others: Learn to listen
“In ACA, we do not attempt to comfort others when they become emotional here in this group. If someone writes emotional here, we allow the person to feel his or her feelings without interruption. To comfort the person is known as “fixing”. As children we tried to fix our parents or to control them with out behavior. In ACA, we are learning to take care of ourselves. We support others by accepting them into this group and listening to them. We allow them to feel their feelings in peace.”

BRB p576 “We want to balance keeping our groups safe from cross talk with our own responsibility to educate new members about group decorum. In most cases a gentle reminder works.”

No cross talk – no comments (even as a private message, email or contact in any other way)- no referring to a post or message, with the only exception when someone feels safe enough and asks in the message or post for help, comments or outreach to call or for a private message, email or contact in any other way.