ACA Netherlands

Welcome to ACA

Adult Children of Alcoholics®/ Dysfunctional Families
This is an International and Dutch ACA group – Global – English speaking
worldwide Online meetings and face to face English and Dutch meetings based out of The Netherlands

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Meeting List

ACA Netherlands NL (Holland) worldwide Online and in person – Face to Face group.
We are an International and Dutch ACA group – Global – first of its kind.

ACA for inner peace and serenity.

Success in ACA is not measured with money or social status, but with inner peace and serenity. We share our experience, strength and hope with each other as we laugh together, cry together and know that we are home.

“To Find Your True Self”

“To Find Your True Self”


All Meetings are in English, use Zoom, no password needed, just click on the link. Most ACA Netherlands meetings are audio only, do not use the video function unless it’s written at the meeting info, and please always ask the chair or host first if you can use your video.
See below for Zoom, top tips and best practices.

Please click here for the Quick Meeting List
or scroll down for our normal meeting list

Please always ask the chair or host first if you can use your video.
Meeting Time shows CEST (Central European Summer Time)

CEST minus 1 hour = UK time
CEST minus 6 hours = US Eastern time
CEST minus 9 hours = US Pacific time
CEST plus 1 hour = EEST, Moskou & Israel time
CEST plus 2 hours = Dubai time
CEST plus 3,5 hours = India time
CEST plus 8 hours = Sydney time
CEST plus 10 hours = New Zealand time

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Monday

Monday morning Early Risers (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 828-6614-9258

In this time of uncertainty, reparenting can help us be in the solution of becoming our own loving parent. This is an important step for us as we develop our own identity that is different than our dysfunctional family role. The roles are family hero, scapegoat, lost child, or some other role. With The Solution, we are on our own, but we are not alone as we were when we were children. We have our ACA group, the fellowship, and a Higher Power to rely upon. With help and support, we learn what it means to be a Loving Parent to ourselves.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

Click here to download the ACA Essentials


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Monday morning Second Cup (Reparenting /LP – coming soon – looking for a chair)
09:00 a.m CEST

Monday lunch @ Noon (Self-Love with readings from chapter 15 Beyond Survival: Practicing Self-Love, Strengthening My Recovery and other approved ACA literature )
12:00 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 879-3057-1435

Self-Love

We cannot address the issue of self-love without examining some of the confusion surrounding this important spiritual principle. On one side, there are those who argue that self-love always leads to the slippery slope of narcissism. In this line of thinking, self-love is cast as self-absorption. These critics usually cannot define self-love because they are too absorbed in saying what it is not. They liken self-love to Narcissus, the character of Greek mythology who “fell in love” with his own image. Transfixed by the pool, gazing at himself, Narcissus dies emotionally and physically due to his inability to connect with another person or God. This is not self-love.
Narcissism and self-love often get linked together, but these two concepts could not be more different. One is self-absorption while the other is self-awareness. The person who practices true self-love cannot be narcissistic. The practicing narcissist can never know self-love.

Click here to download the ACA Essentials

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Monday evening (Big Red Book Chapter 14 Study – “ACA in a Workplace”)
6 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 820-6458-4162

ACA in a Workplace

By practicing ACA outside of meetings, we can avoid recreating our family of origin at work. We can avoid being a victim, a hero, or the invisible employee who is rarely noticed and passed over for pay raises. Without working our program, we can easily take the patterns and roles we learned at home and apply them in the workplace. We risk taking our parental programming and our false attitudes about ourselves into our working life.
Even if we don’t work full-time, looking at ACA traits in the workplace can help improve our interaction in other groups or social settings. We may work part-time or have a position in a volunteer, charitable, or worship group. We may be retired and be part of a recreational group. The personality types that can be difficult for us will likely show up whenever and wherever we interact with others on a regular basis. This chapter on ACA experience in the workplace will help us focus on our program and improve our behavior in relationships wherever we go.

Click here to download the workplace Laundry List Exercise(s)

Click here to download “ACA in the Workplace” handout

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Tuesday

Tuesday morning Early Risers (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID 840-9937-2668

Through reparenting, we challenge our inner critic by reminding ourselves of our strong points. By doing so, we realize that we are not as bad as we thought we were nor are we as noble. We have a balance of positive and problematic traits that we are learning to accept or to address.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

Tuesday morning Second Cup (Reparenting /LP – coming soon – looking for a chair)
09:00 a.m CEST

Tuesday lunch @ Noon (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
12:00 p.m CEST Meeting ID 839-5786-4261

Gradually we begin to recognize the negative parenting messages from our childhoods that drive our lives. We learn how to replace them with healthy behaviors. This is a first step toward “reparenting”. As we gradually reparent our selves, our outlook on life changes. We begin to look at it from an emotionally mature perspective. Ultimately we become happier, stronger, more capable people – more able to handle life. We learn to respect others and ourselves. The quality of our lives improves as we learn to define and communicate our boundaries, and insist that they be honored.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

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Tuesday evening (ACA’s daily meditation – Strengthening My Recovery)
6 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 897-5666-7090

Strengthening My Recovery is written by and for the Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families Fellowship. With 365 daily shares, each paired with a meaningful quotation from the ACA Fellowship Text, this meditation book will inspire its readers.

Daily Affirmations/ Meditation – Strengthening My Recovery – can be found here https://adultchildren.org/meditation/

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Wednesday

Wednesday morning Early Risers ( Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 824-1755-4426

With emotional sobriety, reparenting ourselves becomes a reality in our lives.With the Steps and by reparenting ourselves, we can further remove the “buttons” that have been pushed by others to manipulate us or to get a reaction out of us. Through a Loving Parent inside, we gain greater independence from codependence. We find the skills and support we need to become independent adults.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

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Wednesday morning Second Cup (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
09:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 899-6103-2682

“The ACA Solution is that we become our “own loving parent.” Becoming our own loving parent involves seeing our “biological parents as the instruments of our existence.” As The Solution states: “Our actual parent is our Higher Power, whom some of us choose to call God.”

The Fellowship Text  chapter 8 is entitled “The Solution: Becoming Your Own Loving Parent”, however, the concepts of loving parent and inner child are interwoven throughout the ACA program and literature.


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Wednesday lunch @ Noon (The Laundry Lists 4×4 Meeting)
12:00 p.m CEST Meeting ID 832-7117-6274

The lists of common traits of those who experienced dysfunctional caregivers.
There are 4 sides to the Laundry List Traits.
There’s:
1) The Laundry List
2) The Other Laundry List
3) The Flip Side of the Laundry List and
4) The Flip side of the Other Laundry List

ACA experience shows that the Laundry List and Other Laundry List are survival traits developed by an abused or neglected child. The mind developed the Laundry List Traits and Other Laundry List traits or the false self to survive. This continue’s to affect the adult in problematic ways that our fellowship understands and addresses.
The Laundry List and Other Laundry List are descriptions not indictments. 

The Laundry Lists 4×4 Meeting Schedule click here

Click here to download: “The ACA Laundry Lists Framework”

Click here to download: The Complete Picture Characteristics of an Adult Child


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Wednesday evening (Big Red Book Chapter 7 Study – “The Twelve Steps of ACA” – People may use Video)
6 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 828-7344-2714

Chapter 7 Study: introduces ACA newcomers to the ACA Steps and is a renewal for the experienced member to the Steps, and their various adaptations, have brought sure hope and a better way of life to those who desire change. In ACA, the Twelve Steps also bring recovery to our members who were not raised with addiction in the home. Our experience shows that these ACA members internalized the same abandonment and shame as children brought up in alcoholism or other addictions.

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Thursday

Thursday morning Early Risers (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 832-0464-8580

Through reparenting, we learn to use spiritual principles in our daily lives to replace old ways of thinking and reacting. The Solution states: “By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to reparent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love, and respect.”

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

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Thursday morning Second Cup (Reparenting /LP – coming soon – looking for a chair)
09:00 a.m CEST

Thursday lunch @ Noon (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
12:00 p.m CEST Meeting ID 850-1726-4285

Click here to download the ACA Essentials
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Thursday evening 6 p.m CEST (Alternate Laundry Lists Workbook or Big Red Book Chapter 19 Study -“ACA 12 Traditions”, People may use Video)
Meeting ID: 820-4427-5166

Switches every week between the Laundry List Workbook or Big Red Book Chapter 19 Study -“ACA 12 Traditions”.

ACA Twelve Traditions Study: Our experience shows that ACA groups are strengthened when their members read and discuss the Twelve Traditions. It is commonly believed that the ACA Twelve Steps provide direction for the individual member, while the Twelve ACA Traditions provide comparable guidance to ACA groups and the service structure. The ACA Traditions outline fellowship unity, group autonomy, and the ultimate authority of ACA – a loving God – as expressed in our group conscience.
The Traditions offer wisdom on being self-supporting as a fellowship and on avoiding promotion when attracting new members. With the Twelve Traditions, we sustain ACA groups that allow the ACA Solution of reparenting one’s self to emerge and thrive. The Twelve Traditions can be found in Chapter Nineteen of the Fellowship Text also known as the Big Red Book or BRB.
The ACA Twelve Traditions provide guidelines for group conduct just as the ACA Steps provide guidelines for individual recovery.

Click here to download the ACA Twelve Traditions

Click here to download the ACA Essentials
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Thursday Evening ( Literature – People may use Video)
8 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 824-1494-1856

ACA Fellowship Text was written by anonymous ACA members providing guidance on working the 12 Step ACA program leading to recovery from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family. This book is now often referred to as the “Big Red Book”, or “BRB”.

Contact Information: ACAMaastricht@gmail.com
Click here to download the ACA Essentials


Friday

Friday morning Early Risers ( Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID 873-1777-2221

Parenting ourselves as children and reparenting ourselves as adults has important distinctions. We were alone as children, and we were forced to grow up too soon. We are not alone as we reparent ourselves in ACA. Through recovery, we use reparenting to connect with ourselves and others in a healthy manner. Reparenting also gives us a chance to reclaim our childhood years in a more supportive light. We can use reparenting to salvage our displaced childhood years. We can reclaim and restage those childhood years. We do not fictionalize our childhood, but we take the time to see how vulnerable, courageous, and loving we were as children. We can give ourselves the care we gave others. This is how we go forward in life by knowing where we came from and how we survived to get here.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

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Friday morning Second Cup (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
09:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID 818-2763-4707

“The ACA Solution is that we become our “own loving parent.” Becoming our own loving parent involves seeing our “biological parents as the instruments of our existence.” As The Solution states: “Our actual parent is our Higher Power, whom some of us choose to call God.”

The Fellowship Text  chapter 8 is entitled “The Solution: Becoming Your Own Loving Parent”, however, the concepts of loving parent and inner child are interwoven throughout the ACA program and literature.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

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Friday lunch @ Noon (Reparenting /Loving Parent)
12:00 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 858-7140-2091

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Friday evening (ACA’s daily meditation – Strengthening My Recovery)
6 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 883-9127-6031

Strengthening My Recovery is written by and for the Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families Fellowship. With 365 daily shares, each paired with a meaningful quotation from the ACA Fellowship Text, this meditation book will inspire its readers.
Daily Affirmations/ Meditation – Strengthening My Recovery – can be found here

https://adultchildren.org/meditation/

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Saturday

Saturday morning Early Risers ( Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 815-1866-3991


Saturday morning ( Big Red Book Step 1 study)
09:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 896-2170-2355

Beginners meeting: Family dysfunction is a disease that affects everyone in the family. Taking a drink is not necessary to be affected. This is an ACA axiom, and it serves as a basis for our First Step. The effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family force us to develop survival traits that are known as The Laundry List (Problem). Since the disease of family dysfunction is generational, these traits also represent the internalization of our parents’ behavior. As much as we would like to deny it, we have become our parents. If we have succeeded in acting differently than them, we still passed on unwanted traits handed off to us by our parents. We unknowingly passed them on to our children.

Success in ACA is not measured with money or social status, but with inner peace and serenity. We share our experience, strength and hope with each other as we laugh together, cry together and know that we are home.

Saturday morning Amsterdam meeting, readings are in English and sharing may be done in English or Dutch. Strengthening Our Recovery
10:30 am CEST – Please send a request to acazaterdag@gmail.com to get the meeting ID.

Strengthening Our Recovery- is an English meeting, with the option to share in Dutch or English.
NOTE: Our face-to-face Amsterdam meeting location (Jacob Obrechtstraat 92, Amsterdam, North Holland 1051cr Netherlands) is closed until at least until May 20, according to the guidelines of the RIVM. We will meet online at our scheduled meeting time at least until May 20, before which time, this information will be updated. Here is how to join our online meetings: Before Saturday at 10:30am CET during the week you want to join, send a request to the email address acazaterdag@gmail.com. You will receive a link to that week’s meeting by 10:45am on the day of the meeting. Please join the meeting with your microphone muted. Unfortunately, we cannot offer technical assistance. Please send a new meeting request for each new meeting you wish to join.


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Saturday morning ( Reparenting /Loving Parent)
11 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 835-9004-6441

Reparenting ourselves can mean many things, but the central theme is that we are willing to challenge our critical, inner voice and to care for the child within. By reparenting ourselves, we lose interest in harming ourselves with addictions and compulsions. We remind ourselves that we have worth. We do this as often as it takes without thought of the repetition or how it might sound to another person.

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet



Saturday evening (Big Red Book Chapter 13 Study – “Relationships: Applying What We Have Learned”)
8 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 825-6172-4424

Relationships

As adults, most of us seemed to have relationships in which we dominated people or worshipped people. Most of us were discreet about these two extremes. But when we think about it, we can agree that we have been near one end or the other of these two positions. There seemed to be no middle ground or equality in our relationships with another person. Many of us thought we were either superior or inferior. We seemed to never feel like we were good enough for our friends or others

Laundry List trait 4: We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
Other Laundry List trait 4: We dominate others and abandon them before they can abandon us or we avoid relationships with dependent people altogether. To avoid being hurt, we isolate and dissociate and thereby abandon ourselves.
Laundry List trait 5: We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
Other Laundry List trait 5: We live life from the standpoint of a victimizer, and are attracted to people we can manipulate and control in our important relationships.
Laundry List trait 12: We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
Other Laundry List trait 12: We “manage” the massive amount of deprivation we feel, coming from abandonment within the home, by quickly letting go of relationships that threaten our “independence” (not too close).

Without ACA we remain in destructive or loveless relationships because we fear abandonment. The term “adult child” means that we respond to adult interactions with the fear and self-doubt learned as children. This undercurrent of hidden fear can sabotage our choices and relationships. We can appear outwardly confident while living with a constant question of our worth. Whatever our path, we found no lasting help until we found ACA.
In ACA we become willing to apply what we learn in the program to our daily lives and to relationships. We must be willing to apply the principles of the Steps and to reparent ourselves if we want to change. Moving away from codependent behavior and toward healthy relationships is one of the results of working the ACA program. We are not saying relationships become workable overnight, but they also are not as impossible as we once thought. For us, relationships can be a measuring stick for how well we have applied the ACA program in our lives.

Click here to download: “The ACA Laundry Lists Framework”

Click here to download: The Complete Picture Characteristics of an Adult Child

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Sunday

Sunday morning Early Risers ( Reparenting /Loving Parent)
06:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID 851-1575-1109

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Workshop Handout

Click here for the Reparenting Check-In Worksheet

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Sunday morning (Big Red Book Chapter 19 Study – “The Twelve Traditions of ACA”)
09:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 896-7322-6165

ACA Twelve Traditions Study: Our experience shows that ACA groups are strengthened when their members read and discuss the Twelve Traditions. It is commonly believed that the ACA Twelve Steps provide direction for the individual member, while the Twelve ACA Traditions provide comparable guidance to ACA groups and the service structure. The ACA Traditions outline fellowship unity, group autonomy, and the ultimate authority of ACA – a loving God – as expressed in our group conscience.
The Traditions offer wisdom on being self-supporting as a fellowship and on avoiding promotion when attracting new members. With the Twelve Traditions, we sustain ACA groups that allow the ACA Solution of reparenting one’s self to emerge and thrive. The Twelve Traditions can be found in Chapter Nineteen of the Fellowship Text also known as the Big Red Book or BRB.
The ACA Twelve Traditions provide guidelines for group conduct just as the ACA Steps provide guidelines for individual recovery.

Click here to download the ACA Twelve Traditions
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Sunday morning (ACA’s daily meditation -Strengthening My Recovery)
11:00 a.m CEST Meeting ID: 862-8449-8991

Strengthening My Recovery is written by and for the Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families Fellowship. With 365 daily shares, each paired with a meaningful quotation from the ACA Fellowship Text, this meditation book will inspire its readers. ACA’s Daily Affirmations/ Meditation – Strengthening My Recovery – can be found here

https://adultchildren.org/meditation/


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Sunday evening (Big Red Book Chapter 1&2 Study – “The Laundry List – Problem + It Will Never Happen to Me”)
8 p.m CEST Meeting ID: 867-0843-5678

Beginners Meeting, Europe’s Sunday Eve introduces the ACA newcomer to: Chapter 1 Study: The Laundry List – Problem. In ACA, we believe the experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults. Many of us have had successful careers but still felt disconnected from life. Some of us have experienced regular failure. We lived with a self-created calamity mixed with self-harm and self-hate. Many of us have been in the middle of success and failure. We have had fine jobs and homes, but we wondered why others appeared to be enjoying life while we guessed at what was normal. We felt like we were on the outside looking in. Whatever our path, we found no lasting help until we found ACA.
Chapter 2 Study: Internalizing Our Parents – Internalized Modes of Thinking and Acting – Identifying; perfectionism, control, all or nothing thinking and judgmentalness (also known as the critical inner parent).
This chapter will deal with our promise to be different than our parents, grandparents, or legal guardian. As adults, we may have avoided adopting some parental behaviors, but we passed on shame, self-doubt, and codependence perfectly to our children. Some of us may have avoided abusing others physically or verbally. Yet, our children and relationships were still mired in our dysfunction. We recreated the abandonment and loss of our own childhood. In our relationships, we picked people we could rescue or perpetrate against. We also picked people we could act out our victim role toward. Some of us blatantly abused others in the same manner we were abused or belittled as children. But this is not the end of the road for us. We can change. ACA offers much hope.

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Most ACA Netherlands meetings are audio only, do not use the video function, unless it is written at the meeting information.
Time shows CEST (Central European Summer Time)
All Meetings are in English and No password needed.


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To Find Your
“True Self”

ACA Dubai

ACA Dubai now has their three English speaking face to face meetings online, display different time zones and are on Zoom. It is the conscience of the Dubai group that members must switch their video cameras on.
All the Dubai meetings are Video Meetings.

Tuesday

Tuesday evening GST 7 p.m – 8 p.m. Fellow Traveler’s Step Study – Video Meeting
5 p.m Amsterdam CEST / 4 p.m UK time
Meeting ID: 304 812 423

Friday

Friday afternoon GST 5 p.m – 6 p.m Big Red Book Read and Share – Video Meeting
3 p.m Amsterdam CEST/ 2 p.m UK time
Meeting ID: 822 200 421

Sunday

Sunday evening GST 7 p.m – 8 p.m. Laundry List Group –
Video Meeting
5 p.m Amsterdam CEST / 4 p.m UK time Meeting ID 89174728022


Contact Andy +971 56 104 3355 (WhatsApp)

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We have two ACA WhatsApp groups (WAG’s)

European ACA Outreach

Whatsapp group (WAG). This is a closed group for ACA’s. The purpose of this group is just outreach calls. No chats, questions or posts, there are other groups for that.

Click here if you would like to join the ACA European ACA Outreach group.

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Helps Finding Your
“True Self”
7th Tradition or Donation- PayPal

This group is self supporting and relies fully on voluntary contributions from all of us to pay all the expenses. This group does the 7th tradition or donations by making a donation into the Intergroup’s bank account. The funds are used to pay the zoom account​, the website​, get other online tools, organize events, workshops, study groups, parent other meetings and other costs. Contributions may be made by PayPal, by sending it from a Paypal account to our Paypal account on

aca.netherlands.global ​​@ gmail .com
Thank you

For recovery of our
True Self”
ACA’s Ready Set Go!!

Ready Set GO!! introduces the ACA newcomer during 6 closed online introductory meetings with one session per week upto 2 hours per session in a timeframe of 6 weeks, with screen sharing – the ACA program, the ACA 12 Steps and an Inner Child Workshop “Awakening My Little One”

Click here for the Final RSG DVD

Email: Toni at acatoni5617 @ comcast. net with any questions about RSG.

Thursdays, May 7, 14, 21, 28, June 4, 11 2020 (3-5pm CEST/2-4pm UK time/9-11am ET)

Saturdays, June 6, 13, 20, 27, July 11, 18 2020 (9-11pm CEST/8-10pm UK time)

Mondays, July 27, August 3,10, 17, 24 and 31, 2020 (4-5pm CEST/3-4pm UK time / 10:00 am – 11:00 am ET)

Thursdays, September 10, 17, 24, October 1, 8, 15, 2020 (4-5pm CEST/3-4pm UK time / 10:00 am – 11:00 am ET)

Click here for the RSG flyer

Click here for the NEW RSG flyer

A request from RSG Toni: “Can you read these workshop slides first (The Steps and Our Inner Child Using ACA’s Tools to Make Peace With Our Past) before joining ACA’s Ready Set Go!!”

Click here to read the workshop slides


ACA is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition support group focused on understanding the specific behavior and attitude patterns we developed while growing up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional environment.  These patterns continue to affect us today.

By attending regular meetings we come to a better understanding of our past so we can more effectively restructure our lives today.  We begin to see more clearly what is positive and healthy in ourselves.

ACA is not a replacement for addicts working an abstinence program in other Twelve Step fellowships.  However, Adult Children of Alcoholics is often the only program for many adult children recovering from the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, including the effects of alcoholism and drug addiction.  (Adapted from the ACA Fellowship textbook.)

Meetings are intended to be safe places where we can share our experience, strength and hope without judgement or criticism.  We have the right not to share unless we are ready.

This program is grounded in spiritual guidance and not affiliated with any specific religion.  We are individuals struggling through rigorous honesty to become the best we can be.  We respect one another’s anonymity.  Who we encounter at meetings and what they have said there is treated confidentially.

We meet together to share our experience, strength, hope and fear; we offer friendship and understanding.  We love one another in a very special way.  We welcome you to join us.

Since each meeting is autonomous, and each meeting is a different experience, we recommend that you try as many different ones as possible before deciding if the ACA program can be helpful to you in your journey from discovery to recovery.

Keep coming back.

In becoming your “True Self”

USING “I” STATEMENTS

“Why Using “I” Statements is So Important!”.
When sharing with an individual or as part of a group, using “I” statements can make a big difference. An “I” statement is sharing in the first person, as opposed to using words such as “we,” “they,” “us,” and “you.” At first, it may seem like an insignificant detail, but using third person statements is distancing and impersonal.

It can even be an attempt to subconsciously control others or place responsibility outside of oneself. Example: “When you get abused, it hurts you.” Change this to: “When I got abused, it hurt me.” Sharing in the first person promotes self responsibility by divulging information only about yourself. When you are tempted to use the generic “you,” “we,” etc., try to catch yourself and replace i with “I.”

You will be surprised how different it feels and how much more you and others get out of your share. It may feel uncomfortable at first. That’s because you are casting off your protective shield and revealing the real you. Remember:
1) An “I” statement exercises my self control.
2) “I” statements build my self respect while
offering others a true opportunity to have a real relationship with me.
3) Struggling with “I” statements will often reveal the hidden aspects of the issues at hand. If you truly want to disclose your feelings so that you and others can learn more about YOU, use an “I” statement!

Link to Using I statements

The help for your
“True Self”

The Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

This document is in development and will be subject to review by ACA WSO Board of Trustees and approval by the fellowship.
We welcome all comments from the fellowship to assist in the final review of this piece of literature. Please submit any feedback between now and the end of December 2020.
You can share your feedback by sending an e-mail to liteval@acawso.org
Lists the Rights of an adult child of an alcoholic and/or a dysfunctional family.

The ACA Bill of Rights
1) I have the right to say no.
2) I have the right to say, “I don’t know.”
3) I have the right to detach from anyone in whose company I feel humiliated or manipulated.
4) I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
5) I have the right to be wrong.
6) I have the right to make mistakes and learn from them.
7) I have the right to make my own choices and decisions in my life.
8) I have the right to grieve any actual or perceived losses.
9) I have the right to all of my feelings.
10) I have the right to feel angry, including towards someone I love.
11) I have the right to change my mind at any time.
12) I have the right to a spiritually, physically, and emotionally healthier existence, though it may deviate entirely or in part from my parents’ way of life.
13) I have the right to forgive myself and to choose how and when I forgive others.
14) I have the right to take healthy risks and to experiment with new possibilities.
15) I have the right to be honest in my relationships and to seek the same from others.
16) I have the right to ask for what I want.
17) I have the right to determine and honor my own priorities and goals, and to leave others to do the same.
18) I have the right to dream and to have hope.
19) I have the right to be my True Self.
20) I have the right to know and nurture my Inner Child.
21) I have the right to laugh, to play, to have fun, and the freedom to celebrate this life, right here, right now.
22) I have the right to live life happy, joyous, and free.

In finding our
“True Self”
Call to Service for ACANetherlands.com

ACANetherlands.com is an International English speaking and Dutch ACA Group. We are expanding and looking for English or Dutch speaking people from anywhere in the world that would like to step-up for service for this world wide group inclusive to all nationalities.
If you would like to help and do service as chair, meeting leaders, back up chair, back up meeting leader or helping out on meetings with screen sharing, mic monitoring for existing or new meetings it doesn’t matter where you live in the world, please let us know.
We are looking for people from all over the world that would like to step up for existing or new meetings on existing or new time slots.

Please write to us on acanl @ protonmail .com
Thank you.

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To discover our
“True Self”
ACA’s Non Dominant Handwriting Workshop by PA-ACA Intergroup

This workshop is given by the PA-ACA Intergroup on
Saturday May 23 and June 13 at
4 pm CEST (Amsterdam Paris, Berlin time) /
3 pm UK time/
10 am ET (New York time).
Click here for more info.

Workshop Slide Decks From ACA World Convention 2020

These are the slide decks from the ACA workshops presented at the 2020 virtual ACA World Convention, Global Connections strengthen my recovery.  Click here

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Addressing Predatory Behavior Tent Card

This safety card is available for use in all meetings. click here to download the safety card. The Literature Committee is requesting fellowship feedback on the card’s value and effectiveness. Please email comments to

liteval@acawso.org

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Anonymity & Privacy

In keeping with Traditions of the program, and to protect the anonymity of others, we suggest that you participate from a quiet, private location where you will not be interrupted by anyone, including children, babies or pets. Please treat this as you would a face-to-face meeting. If this is not possible, we suggest the use of earphones so others on the call cannot be heard.

What you hear at each meeting should remain at that meeting. We do not talk about another person’s story or experiences to other people. Please respect the anonymity of those who share with us in the meetings. Please read No Cross Talk
https://acanetherlands.com/no-cross-talk/

Read our Steps, Traditions our Concepts here
https://acanetherlands.com/12-steps-12-traditions-12-concepts/


Zoom

To participate with the Zoom meetings is free. There is no need to register, no account needed, no invite needed, or sign up to join our Zoom meetings. Once Zoom is installed just click on – join a meeting – using the Zoom ID, or click on the Meeting ID of this website to startup Zoom to join the meeting of the current hour and day. You can download Zoom for clients from here.

Joining a Zoom meeting by phone only, using a traditional phone.
You can join a Zoom meeting by using a traditional phone. Dial an in-country number. If you dial a toll number, your carrier rates will apply. You can find the numbers on your meeting invitation or a full list of international dial-in numbers at:
https://zoom.us/u/acxr2DdJEk
You will be prompted to enter the meeting ID – the nine (9), ten (10), or eleven (11) digit ID provided by the meeting list here on this page, followed by # (hash, hash sign, pound sign or hashtag ).

Phone controls for participants, using a traditional phone.
The following commands can be entered via DTMF tones using your phone’s dial pad while in a Zoom meeting:
*6 – Toggle mute/unmute
*9 – Raise hand

The Zoom meetings are audio only, we do not use the video function. Group chat is available at the end of each meeting.
Important Notice Please update your Zoom app to version 5.0 now. After May 30, 2020, all Zoom clients on older versions will receive a forced upgrade when trying to join meetings as GCM Encryption will be fully enabled across the Zoom platform. Click here for more information.


Online Meeting Best Practices

When using Zoom it’s best to quit all other programs, especially Skype, Whatsapp, Viber, Facetime or other applications that use the microphone and video.

Top Tips

Calculating the Timezone can be tricky. On your smartphone or device, use the world-clock then add Amsterdam – then you’ll see exactly how long till the meeting starts.

Use a world-clock application to help with the meeting start time.

We suggest bookmarking this page, you can even access the meeting by clicking once on the Zoom ID Hyperlink for each meeting.



Discovering the
“True Self”

ACA PSA’sPublic Service Announcements)

These two audio Public Service Announcements are ready for distribution to radio stations, via the internet and anywhere audio mp3 files can be played for the public. The ACA World Service Organization asks that you update us with the contact info of the radio stations or other places where these are sent. Please submit this information to information@acawso.com.
We would like to know the name of the station or entity they are sent to, the contact person’s full name, the address including street, city, state, country, and zip if applicable. We also would like to have an email and/or phone number of the contact.
The MPS (Member and Public Services) Committee will be compiling a master list to cross reference. We will also begin our own push to get these PSAs out and will develop sample letters to send with the PSAs. These will be made available to the membership as soon as we get them ready. Email inquiries about this material can be sent to information@acawso.com.
If anyone asks for a copyright release for the background music, please refer them to mpschair@adultchildren.org. We have this information available in a blanket license. https://acawso.org/2018/03/01/15-and-30-second-audio-psas-now-available-for-download-and-distribution/

Click here for the 15 Second ACA PSA (Public Service Announcement).


Click here for the 30 Second ACA PSA (Public Service Announcement).
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For becoming
Your
“True Self”

ACA’s literature terms

Inner Child, – Loving Parent, – Reparenting, – True Selves, – Emotional Sobriety, Emotional Detoxification, – Emotional Intoxication, False Self, – Critical Parent, Para alcoholics, Codependency., Twelve Step program, Twelve Traditions, Principles, Higher Power, Dysfunction, Alcoholism, Addiction, Neglect, Abuse, Unhealthy Behaviour, People Pleasing, Approval Seeking, Self-sacrificial, Judgmental

Is Something Missing in Your Recovery?

Recovering alcoholics or addicts owe their lives to the 12 Steps. But over time, many of us battle a vague sense that something is missing in our sobriety. Even as we go to meetings, defects and twisted emotions stubbornly remain.
If you grew up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family, there is hope. ACA is an anonymous 12-Step fellowship that helps you find Emotional Sobriety—the deep healing of mind, body and spirit first envisioned by Bill W.
In ACA, children of dysfunctional families experience unconditional self-love, with the help of our Higher Power. We slowly release the distorted thinking and discontent that are legacies of our upbringing.
Working these ACA Steps and ACA Traditions means developing an understanding of how these Steps apply to us in our daily lives. Working these Steps and Traditions requires reading, writing, sharing, and living our understanding of these Steps and Traditions. We do so with the tools that follow in the light of our identification with “The Problem” and our understanding of “The Solution”
ACA is not a substitute for alcohol or any other addiction sobriety, but it strengthens our recovery in finding our True Self.

How to Be Your True Self in a Society That Worships False Selves?

As adults, most of us seemed to have relationships in which we dominated people or worshiped people. Most of us were discreet about these two extremes. But when we think about it, we can agree that we have been near one end or the other of these two positions. There seemed to be no middle ground or equality in our relationships with another person. Many of us thought we were either superior or inferior. We seemed to never feel like we were good enough for our friends or others and we realize we’re not being honest with ourselves, our True Selves. When the realization comes that True Self is in hiding, the “False Self” is, a defense designed to protect the True Self by hiding it, and people don’t know how to be the True Self in Society that is where ACA can help. To lay down the defense mechanism the “False Self” to go for the solution of ones own re-parenting to become ones own Loving Parent, becomes meaningful by allowing to meet and then become your True Self.

A Feeling and an Unfeeling Self

To protect ourselves from the disorienting effects of living with confusion and pain, we divide into a feeling and unfeeling self and isolate ourselves from our own vulnerability. We alternate between the extremes of wanting to escape our isolation and the need to stay securely hidden in our familiar prison of pain. Our beliefs and behaviors become rigid and inflexible, and we swing from the depths of isolated depression to frantic attempts to find help in the outside world. We endlessly repeat the cycle of frustration, rage and despair, but the goal of the divided self remains the same as it was in childhood: to become whole once again and to find happiness, peace, and joy.

The disease of family dysfunction manifests itself in dependency, addiction, and dissociative personalities. As adults we continue to control ourselves and our relationships in an unhealthy manner. We relied on controlling our feelings and emotions to survive in our homes and relationships.Control meant a sense of safety and predictability. This brought and brings abandonment or predictable turmoil.
We believe in a spiritual solution for the disease of family dysfunction for coming into our True Self. The ACA adapted Steps are designed specifically to help the adult child to become our True Self. They are designed to address trauma and neglect in addition to addressing the addictiveness of the adult child personality. The ACA Twelve Steps address shame, abandonment, fear, and a deep sense of being flawed, while also leading the Step worker to self-worth, self-forgiveness, and a true connection to a Higher Power through the Inner Child

To get to your
“True Self”

Emotional Healthy

In ACA we reparenting ourselves, to further remove the “buttons” that have been pushed by others to manipulate us or to get a reaction out of us. To become our own Loving Parent and through a Loving Parent inside, we gain greater independence from codependence. We find the skills to support our need to become independent people. We intuitively know what we need and what we can live without. We will learn to act as an actor to people, places, things and circumstances. We learn to truly see, listen and understand the present moment, the point between past and future. We learn to live and let live and become our “True Self”.

Not longer responding to life with childhood survival traits that gives unsure feelings about oneself. Learning on another way to respond to people, places, things and circumstances. To become Emotionally Healthy, living in full harmony with ones own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors for coming into our True Self. For more information please visit

https://adultchildren.org

For free ACA Literature click here: https://adultchildren.org/free-literature-english-translated/

In addition to alcoholic and addicted families, there are at least five other family types that can produce Adult Children:
• Homes with mental illness in the parent(s).
• Homes with hypochondriac parent(s).
• Homes with ritualistic beliefs, harsh punishment, and extreme secretiveness, often with ultra-religious, militaristic, or sadistic overtones. Some of these homes expose children to battery and other forms of criminal abuse.
• Homes with covert or actual sexual abuse, including incest and inappropriate touching or dress by the parent(s).
• Perfectionistic, shaming homes in which expectations are often too high and praise is typically tied to an accomplishment rather than given freely.

How to become
your
“True Self”
The way to
your
“True Self”

Thank you for being here. It is time to give ACA a go and to work the ACA program. Working these ACA Steps and ACA Traditions requires reading, writing, sharing, and living our understanding of these ACA Steps, ACA Traditions and ACA Concepts.
To find ACA Emotional Sobriety— the deep healing of mind, body and spirit in becoming your “True Self”. To be Happy Joyous and Free at last

All ACA groups or meetings that would like to join ACA Nederlands – ACA Intergroup IG#711 are welcome.
We also would like to start to communicate with other Intergroups to work together and look for possibilities to form a Region for a better growth and unification of ACA in the world.

Courage to change
to your
“True Self”

ACA Nederlands – ACA Intergroup IG#711
ACA Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families

ACANL @ protonmail .com